Chapter Eleven
“That’s it, perfect!” Mark said when I was through with explaining the plan.
He went back in to fetch Lucy. She and Tiko would provide the much needed surprise. That is, if they’d agree to play along. Mark would do the talking. I relied on him to persuade my sister.
He succeeded. Tiko was in from the moment he learned about his role.
After we’d checked our watches for the last time, Mark and I walked straight back up to the camp. It was much easier this way, walking towards the tiny lights shining down from the iglos instead of into complete darkness. Although we were dead tired, we’d decided to take the chance before anybody would reduce Louis to Tiko’s size or whatever.
Nothing moved as we approached the camp but we were quite sure the cultists knew we were coming. In fact we hoped they did. They had to show us the way to Louis. We couldn’t count on them playing fair. And we weren’t allowed to make a single mistake. To avoid any unforeseen tricks on their part, I had decided that the cork would be best kept in Tiko’s diapers. As you can imagine Tiko was not that big a fan of the idea, but when I explained him that he’d be playing the principal role in saving Louis from the cultists he became quite fond of his part. Of course I didn’t forget to mention that, as Lucy was carrying him, he’d be very close to her juggling breasts. She hadn’t agreed to let him suck her nipples to make things look more realistic, though.
To get the amazons’ attention, I’d agreed to start singing out loud as soon as we got close enough to the compound. It was our guess that, although my talent to sing was as big as Tiko’s to climb the Empire State in his present condition, they’d all come running to watch the show. Mark was keeping the rythm, beating some chopsticks on his China leg.
Lucy and Tiko, walking over from another side, would use the diversion to search for Louis.
I sang and they came, carrying torches. My face turned red with shame as I tried my best to imitate Elvis’ Jailhouse Rock.
I recognized Zelda in the crowd and for a short moment regretted that things were the way they were. I mean, we stared the hell out of each other. The longing almost became to much to bear. Longing? What do I say, it was more a leaching, like dogs in heat.
But fate had decided differently. She was married to the old fart. Though I doubted Pops would survive the rejuvenation. And let’s not forget about the newly added poked-in eye, as a courtesy of Baby Tiko.
Then there was me. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that I’m handsome, but I’m healthy and young, quite funny and even a bit strong. Well maybe not as strong as the ladies here, but at least I was all real. I hadn’t been tampered with.
The moment thoughts about the cultists and their way of handling things began clouding my mind, I again became convinced I was doing the right thing.
When we were through with the performance we were welcomed quite heartily by the women. Although they still had a lot to learn before getting even close to the “I-want-you!” yelling, undies-throwing boy group fans, it felt good to be admired. If that was what they did. Maybe they just thought we had finally given in to the higher cause. My my, would they be surprised when they discovered how very much down to earth we still were.
Deep inside, I hoped that after a round of small talk and some pleading from our side they would agree to show us the igloo where Louis would be treated. Hopefully by then Lucy, with the help of our little diversion, would have had enough time to find and free him, and taken both Louis and Tiko back to the bus. The moment the amazons would discover Louis’ disappearance, Mark and I would use the following panic and confusion to split up and flee. That was the plan. You’re probably right thinking it had far too many flaws and uncertainties to ever succeed, but it was the best I could come up with, so we went for it.
Like so often before, things went a little different. Lucy and Tiko managed to get into the compound undetected all right. But right then, just by chance, they bumped into Louis as he was on his way over to some sacred treatment two of the amazons would be performing on him. He’d been told it would make it easier for him to cope with the side-effects of the upcoming rejuvenation.
At first Louis didn’t recognize either of them - probably a result of the tub drug.
But as soon as Tiko, against all plans, started fondling Lucy’s breasts and sucking her nipples causing her to yell out: “Tiko, you dirty prick, get your filthy mouth off of me!,” Louis was inevitably torn back into our reality.
While Lucy smacked Baby Tiko to the ground, Louis tried his best to keep off the amazon guards who’d come running, alarmed by the noise. As he’d managed to knock them both unconscious, he grabbed the four letter word screaming infant and ran after Lucy.
Meanwhile Mark and I had to cope with the more unpleasant side-effects of stardom.
The amazons went wild with passion as they tried to grab us. One of them ran around an igloo chanting some unidentifiable rhyme, all the while performing what looked like a jugular trick with Mark’s leg. It didn’t take long before most of the other hot babes went running after her, all grabbing for the China leg. Things got quite out of hand with it ending in a huge wrestling match. Their hormones must have been completely shaken up by the rejuvenator.
In the middle of the mess it suddenly came to my mind that except for the ageless Blob and Pops, we hadn’t encountered one single male. What was it the old guy mentioned earlier about him being too hungry for earthly delights? Surely he wasn’t the only one. The other guys probably all sat inside their igloos hungering for their mates, waiting for their magic turn. I almost felt sorry for them. But the amazons’ wild screams brought me back to reality.
There we were, amidst all these crazy women fighting for a piece of the cake which was us, trying to get away undetected as fast as possible. The women were so out of their minds, wildly grabbing whatever came in sight, that they didn’t see us speed away.
I jumped right into Louis’ big black belly as he came running around an igloo with a half unconscious Tiko dangling from his hand.
“Hello folks, care for a ride?” he said laughing.
Although he did show some fatigue, I wondered how this guy always managed to keep his calm.
“Hey Louis, what on earth happened to the midget,” I said, pointing at Tiko. “And where’s Lucy?“
“Hurry up. We need to get to the bus.”
“Yeah you’re right, let’s get going.”
“Don’t worry about Tiko. He’ll be all right. I had to shut him up. As to Lucy, she already headed back for the bus.”
“OK,” I said, “Let’s all meet there and try to defend it the best we can.” I had completely forgotten that Mark had already checked the engine the last time.
“Just go for it. Whoever arrives first gets the motor running. They told me they fixed it in exchange for me helping them out,” Louis said while running as fast as he could.
“Thank God there are some honest people left,” I yelled back, trying not to think about our part of the deal. As I looked back to see if Mark had managed to keep up - which he had, I saw an entire horde of torch-swaying screaming amazons coming after us.
Normally this would have been everyman’s dream. However these women were after us because we’d taken Louis before it was our turn. Running faster was our only option.
Louis reached the bus first and tore open the door. As Mark and I jumped in, he already had one hand on the wheel and the motor running. He jumped the gas as soon as the door shut causing us to be smacked into our seats. Looking out of the window I recognized Zelda in the approaching crowd. She looked sad, but I wasn’t given the time to think about our separation as the bus took up speed and Zelda got lost in the darkness.
The whole shebang had taken far too much time. Though we didn’t have a schedule to keep up to, it felt as if we’d fallen behind. True, on the one hand Mark had wanted to meet his buddies, but since he’d met Lucy he wasn’t in such a hurry anymore.
I was hanging in my seat dead tired. It felt good watching the faint glow of a new day coming up in the distance. I tried to take a look at the others, but I gave up as I couldn’t make out anyone. They’d probably fallen asleep as soon as Louis had set the bus in motion.
Then I caught sight of the new roof. The cultists had done a good job: they had closed the huge hole by attaching a large piece of metal on the outside and tissue from the inside covering it up almost entirely. The broken windows had been shut the same way. Graphic figures similar to Zelda’s cave paintings were sprayed on the windows. You couldn’t look through anymore, but at least they were closed airtight, keeping the wind and dust out.
What had hit us during the thunderstorm still remained a mystery, but at the time I didn’t have the nerve to start puzzling about that one. The last thing I saw before finally falling asleep too, was Louis’ outline against the light of the waking day. And that felt damned good.
I must have slept for a few hours because as I awoke the landscape had changed and the sun was again high in the sky. The flat sandy plains with the scattered rocks had turned into near green hills. The mountains we had seen in the distance as the thunderstorm struck and which at the time had looked so small, had grown much larger. The air smelled like after a rain shower: so wet and cool with the freshness of drained sand.
Judging from all the tepees and cabins decorating the countryside, we had entered another reservation. Obviously there were a lot more people living here than in Tiko’s. Also the tribe seemed to be more in control of the situation.
Fenced in cattle which looked like it was being fed on a regular basis watched us driving by with great indifference. As did some of the old folks sitting on a weary couch under a pair of thirsty old trees. The skin on their faces looked as worn as the leather they were stuck on. One of them held up his little bone stick as a kind of salute. I waved back and was again reminded of all the loneliness we had left behind. The Indians living here probably didn’t see it that way, but it would be wrong to compare them to us. Still, I guess their drive for freedom and independence matched ours. But whereas we tried to get away from that version, which to us felt more like a prison, these guys looked as if they’d given up their fight.
We drove on endlessly through the reservation. J.J.Cale’s guitar strumming came to mind. Louis only made a stop once to fill up the tank. He had a little talk with the guy from the gas station and we took a stroll. Two kids shot small arrows at a metal can. Nothing else moved. The air felt different. Not as dry as before. And the wind was refreshing in a way. After the break we got back in and drove off.
Nature became wilder. Off and on a little stream crossed the road and grass peeked out from between the rocks. More and more I got the impression we’d left humanity behind at the gas station. No one in sight. No animals, no nothing. We must have reached the borders of the reservation. I hoped that by now we were through with reservations and Indians. The constant emptiness started to get depressing.