L.A. Trippin’

I pointed at a somewhat smaller igloo I’d remarked earlier that was built a bit apart from the others. Maybe a storage room, though what they’d be storing I couldn’t tell. But it was worth a try.
“Here, let’s try the door,” I said as we reached it. “Mark, you do it, I still have baby Tiko in my arm”.
“There’s no need to constantly point out my reduced size as I am not a baby,” Tiko yelled into my ear.
This definitely was another problem we had to take care of as soon as possible. I didn’t want to think about the horror of having to watch this freak all day.
“Shut up Tiko! You are not making things any easier.”
Just as Mark had finally succeeded in opening the door, we overheard a herd of screaming women approaching. We all cramped into the entrance hall and shut the door.
The screaming was cut off by the door’s perfect isolation. It had a huge magnet replacing the usual lock. I put Tiko on the floor and bowed over so I could rest my arms a little. I had little stars jiggling in front of my eyes.
“What now?” Lucy asked while she watched Mark fix his leg.
I felt like in shock. This was too much. I really didn’t know how we would succeed in leaving the compound undetected, even if we already would have managed to find Louis, which we hadn’t. Then I remembered that was the exact reason why I’d decided to enter this iglo.
“Look, let’s first see what we got here. I think we’re safe for now, although I doubt it will take the cultists long to find out where we’re hiding.”

Right in the middle of the igloo’s entrance hall, another smaller one had been built.
“Hey Mark, let’s check out this one here,” I said.
We walked around it, starting from the middle, studying a side each so that we’d meet in the back.
“I counted two doors, one at the front and one to the side,” Mark said.
“With the one on my side that makes three,” I said.
“Try the front door first,” Lucy said.
I did. It opened easily. It definitely wasn’t a prison or anything. But what I had popping into my face struck me as very weird, to say the least. A huge white and red striped tissue covering the whole entrance. It also moved slightly. The longer I kept staring at it, the more it grew towards me. Then it fell back again. I put out my flat hand and touched it. It was soft and warm and felt kind of neat. But as I started pushing a little, roughly the same amount of mass seemed to protrude somewhere else, as if the igloo was filled out completely.
“What do you think this is?” I asked.
“Don’t know,“ Mark said. “To me it looks like a giant marshmellow. Let’s open the other doors and see what we’ll find there.”
He first opened the one on the left - same tissue, same mass. Then the door on the right. That one was a little different. Here just two thirds of the opening were filled out with the tissued mass, enabling me to peek inside.
At first I thought I had definitely gone berserk and the drug from the bath was taking over. In the middle of the tiny room I imagined seeing a fat face which was somehow stuck on top of the striped mass.
But as it slowly turned towards me and began to speak, I thought I’d o.d.’d. I pinched my arm hard. No, I definitely was still alive. I rubbed my eyes.
Then the head spoke in a squeaky voice: “Hey you there, what are you doing here? As you know it is not allowed to enter this sanctum of peace. So now would you please be so kind as to leave.”
“What in heaven’s name are you??” I stammered.
Tiko had it all checked out a little faster than any of us: “Don’t you see? He’s just a big fat blob from outta-space sitting in the room!”
Lucy rolled her eyeballs skywards. “Mark please, what are we doing here? Can’t we just go. I really cannot stand anymore goofs nor mutants. Damnit Mark, DO something!!!”
Her make-up ran down her pretty cheeks straight onto Mark’s shirt. He held her very close and tried drying her tears. She was close to collapsing.
Mark said: “This definitely is too big for us. Let’s forget this guy, think about a fast way to find Louis, repair the bus and get out.”
The Blob started talking again: “So you’re the ones who got hit by the thunderstorm. I have been observing you on my little screen here.”
Not that I could think of anything else fitting in the room, but bending over a bit, I could see a small video screen hanging from the ceiling. In the middle of the mass, close to the head, I was also able to make out his arms, which, like the head seemed to be floating about instead of being attached to the mass. Then the Blob reached for a remote control that was dangling from the ceiling and started explaining how it was he who’d saved us from even more damage.
“Let me introduce myself to you. My name is Father Jessons and I created this safe haven some years ago with the help of a few friends. The Indians were so friendly as to sell us a piece of their land so we could settle down. Since then our community has grown distinctively. I now am responsible for one hundred and twenty three souls, some of which took care of your friendly bus driver.”
The guy’s mentioning Louis’ put me on high alert. At least he was alive and well!
“Sir, we are truly very thankful for your help but I’m afraid we can’t stay,” I said. “We were on our way to L.A. as the storm broke out and now that we want to continue the trip, we need Louis to drive our bus. Couldn’t you just tell us where he is so we won’t lose more time searching for him?”
“Well my dear naive boy, you still have much learning to do. As I see it, for every action one undertakes to help someone else, there needs to be a service in return. We as a community decided that Louis could be of much use to us, however in a much younger state than the one he is in now. We need to build a few more ‘maisons’ for our friends, and with his brute strength, which, I have to admit, at first gave us quite some trouble to contain, he’d be our ideal worker, so to say. By the way, I think I forgot to mention he was quite willing to help us out after having discovered the hidden pleasures of our community.”
A sly smile split his fat face in two. Oh, how I hated these people! And how I hated to be powerless. We were so close, but still we couldn’t change a thing because of fatso here.
He was so sure of his superior strength. His little eyes started laughing at me. Was he able to read my thoughts?
“I think right now he is being prepared for the rejuvenation. You won’t recognize him once we’re through with that …. But think about of what great use he’ll be to you in the much younger and healthier state! After all this is not just about making people young again. That would be far too vain. The transformation also removes all sicknesses hiding in the body. Isn’t that terrific? You will encounter a whole new person. But remember: we need to keep him here for a few more days so he can build us a new hut. Of course you are all invited to stay with us as long as you wi ..wish.”
There was a strange little pause in the guy’s last words, but at the time I was too angry to pay any attention to it. I had to contain myself not to rip the place apart. I picked up Tiko and held my hand in front of his mouth, to keep him from throwing all his anger at the Blob. He tried to bite it with all his might, but luckily he hadn’t grown the right teeth yet.
Mark did his best holding back Lucy as I said: “No thank you. We will go for the bus and wait there for his return. We will let you have him for as long as you need, but I ask you to please keep your followers off our backs when we get out of this door. You helped us and now Louis will help you, but that’s it. No more fooling around and no more tricks, o.k.?!”
We stared at the Blob for a long time. We both knew this was the only way out. The head moved down a little. I took that as a nod.

As I opened the door I felt like stepping into a National Geographic photograph my Dad kept hidden away in his drawer. A traditional greeting on Hawaii: loads of pretty half naked women with flowers in their hair, smiling.
The only difference being these babes didn’t give a shit about our pleasure. They smiled because they wanted us, needed us. They didn’t plan to give us flowers or presents, we were their presents. They wanted us to get things done more quickly.
They sounded less hostile than before. As agreed with the Blob, they let us go. With all the mind melting going on, he probably was able to transmit them his wishes. Nevertheless it was a strange feeling walking out of the compound knowing we had left our friend behind, even if it was just temporarily. I hoped we’d still be able to recognize him the next time we would meet.
On our way to the bus we talked things over.
Lucy was near hysteria, but over the years I’d gotten used to that. She kept saying things like: “You can’t let them have him. They’ll keep him!“
Of course I didn’t plan to let them have him. We just needed time to think about what to do next. Mark was the only one who could understand my decision.
Tiko was astonishingly silent. I knew he didn’t agree with the compromise, but instead of protesting loudly he just grinned at me as if waiting for me to pose the following question.
“Dear Tiko, why do you keep grinning like an ass glistening with suntan lotion?”
“Because, my dear friend, I’m holding here what could be the solution to our problem!”
Saying that he opened his tiny fist in which he held what looked like a metallic cork.
“What do you plan to do with that stupid cork, you dirty little brat?” - Lucy definitely didn’t have much patience left.
“I pulled it out of a tiny hole on the back of the guy’s igloo. Then this sticky goo started leaking out.”
Both Mark and I hadn’t seen anything poking out of the igloo. Maybe it had escaped our attention because it had been hidden so close down to the floor.
“You mean the Blob is leaking?” I said. “Explain yourself. What exactly did you do?”
“The Blob is extremely fat, right? Too fat to stand on his own two feet. He needs the igloo to contain his mass, whatever that is. As I was crawling on the floor I found this device sticking out of a tiny tube in the back of the thing.”
Lucy didn’t trust him: “Get to the point Tiko,” she said, putting her hands on her hips.
He continued: “I decided to pull it out the moment he started telling you what to do. It reminded me of our people’s past. We gave him the land because we’d wanted to help him. We didn’t need another guy telling others how to live their lives. Anyway, the moment I pulled it, a sticky greenish-brown goo started slowly oozing out of the opening.”
“Oh Tiko, you’re so disgusting.“ Lucy again. “First you just talk sex, now this Weight Watchers shit. What’s next, huh?”
“Easy Lucy,” he said ginning. “I didn’t say the jizz was smelling, that’s your imagination. In fact it had more of a musky odor to it.”
I was just barely able to contain my sister. Mark picked up Tiko and by simply covering the small guy’s entire face with his hand finally was able to shut him up.
He said: “That must have been the moment the Blob started stammering.”
Of course, I thought. Near the end of his monologue I had noticed a little tremble in his voice, and for a split second fear clouded the Blob’s face. I didn’t think much of it because it disappeared almost as soon as it had come up. After all he was the one holding all the aces. Tiko’s tale however gave us new hope.

By now the darkness made it very difficult to walk and I became really worried about finding our way back to the bus without bumping into a rock. Although we just had to follow a straight line, I’m telling you total blackness makes you easily lose all sense of direction.
Right in the middle of my small sorrows – small as compared to Mark’s, constantly losing his balance - my right foot hit something.
“Stop. Something’s in the way here,” I said as I knelt down to identify the object.
In doing so, my head hit metal. I’d walked into a part of the seat Mark had dumped there earlier.
“Still a long way to go before you’ll grow into another Sherlock Holmes,” Lucy said.
“I’ll put on some lights,” Mark said as he walked over to the bus’ entrance.
We were all freezing cold by now. Because of the broken windows and the missing roof, I didn’t expect it to be much warmer inside. But still we hoped to find at least some cover from the upcoming wind.
As we had climbed inside and shut the door, much to our surprise we remarked that not a single current of air had sneaked into the bus.
“Wow, they fixed the roof and the windows,” I said, tapping Tiko on the head.
Still we couldn’t see a damned thing.
“Hey, stop that, will you? I’m not a fucking drum set,” Tiko said, poking his finger into my side.
“Mark?” Lucy asked. “Where are you?”
The answer was just a loud rumbling cough from the engine as Mark turned the ignition. Lights went on. Finally. Although they were just a few reading lamps, it was better than nothing, though not enough to investigate what exactly they had repaired in the bus. But that could wait until the next morning.
Mark held Lucy. “I didn’t want to scare you, my sweet,” he said.
He then took the cork from Tiko’s hands. “You mini brat,” he said, giving a nice Austin Powers impression, “You know what this tube is for, huh? Didn’t you see the sign: Do Not Pull The Plug? Behave ….”
Huge laughs. It felt good to let the tension out.
“We should consider the possibility of someone finding out,” I said. “At the latest when half the blob has leaked out, someone might get the idea that we’re responsible. The amazons would finish us off like sitting ducks. Why don’t we use the cork as a trade for Louis?”
“Don’t you think they might have a spare one?” Mark said. ” I mean, who is so stupid to just have this one plug to save something or someone he holds so dear?”
“Sure, it’s all just speculation,” I said. “Probably one of the babes went to check Jessons and discovered the guy hanging in his container like a stone cold soufflé. Maybe she was able to fix it right then and there. But still I think we’ve got a good chance. Look at it this way. It ain’t no ordinary cork. A very fine carving job.”
I let them all take a good look at it. “Definitely hand made. The material, whatever it is, also looks quite expensive. Maybe its even sacred: the holy plug, you know.”
“O.k. brother, what do you suggest? That we go back there, smiling faces and ask them if they maybe miss something and we could please have our driver back???”

It’s difficult to explain things to people who neither have the capability nor the patience to come up with a workable plan. Because Lucy was one of those people, I asked Mark to come along so that we could work out something useful - in quiet.
We stepped outside and squatted in front of the running engine. It gave off a nice warmth.
“We desperately need the effect of surprise,” Mark said. “Us being three and a half up against some sixty hard-bred angry babes.”
“Maybe the half one is exactly what we need to pull off the show,” I said. “Here’s the idea.”