Chapter Fifteen
A loud banging on the door ripped me out of a dream in which I, a young and mighty buffalo bull, had just been extremely busy creating offspring with a lovely cow.
We must have dozed off for a few hours.
Just as I began realizing my whereabouts - almost choking under a mass of female flesh, a breast covering my left eye, the nipple sticking in my nose – the banging restarted.
I lifted Nudjia from my face, stumbled out of bed and opened the door.
“Stop the noise,” I said. “Can’t you let us sleep …….”
They were all there. Louis, Mark, Lucy and the three Russian girls from before, clapping and smiling.
I was naked.
“I see you found the missing girl,” Mark said with a chuckle.
Lucy embraced me and put a huge kiss on my cheek.
“I love you brother. I’m so glad you two met. And from what we heard she sure makes you happy.”
If ever someone could grin loudly it was my sister. A huge grin split her face in half. I felt embarrassed. She peeked over my shoulder to greet Nudjia, who jumped out of bed, handed me a towel and put her arms around me.
“We’ll meet you at the bus in a few minutes, o.k.,” I said.
They went off laughing.
I don’t like it to have me nor my feelings put out on display. Obviously last night Nudjia and I had completely forgotten about the rest of the world. We must have made quite some noise. Well so be it. Still, I felt too exposed, almost ashamed. To me love is something sacred, far too precious to share with others.
We took a quick shower and after having dressed - the other girls had each brought Nudjia something to wear - we left her room to join the others.
Lucy and the girls had prepared a nice breakfast on a little folding-table they’d taken from the cellar. The twins must have been big eaters. The girls had brought two huge smoked hams with the bone still poking out. We also had all kinds of fruit: grapes, mangos and weird stuff I’d never laid eyes on before. I was so hungry that I could easily have emptied half the table.
But Nudjia, or rather the sight of her, made my thoughts wander to other pleasures.
She was looking at me with those eyes … Damn, this girl really got me wild. I almost forgot we were among more or less civilized people. I tried my best to behave.
The others all acted quite normal, as if nothing much had happened.
“How about Tiko?” I asked. “Is he going to be all right?”
“He’s still in the back of the bus,” Louis said. “He’s beginning to feel better and the wounds are healing fast.”
That was good news. True, Tiko’s Dad had told me so, but was he for real?
“What did you do with the fatso twins?” I asked.
Wherever I looked, no sign of them. Their bodies had disappeared without a trace. For a while all stared into the distance as if once again going over yesterday’s events.
But then Louis broke the silence: “Well, we thought the establishment needed some color, so we created a flowerbed on each side of the entrance.”
I hadn’t noticed them on my way out and now the bus was in the way so I got up and went over to take a look. And yes, there they were, six desert plants with pink flowers, three on each side. Because of the giant bodies underneath, the flowerbeds arose slightly above the surrounding sand, giving the impression that the flowers were looking down on the desert, but not from as high as to arouse suspicion. It must have been hard work getting the bodies underground without the proper tools. But then I didn’t really care and walked back to the others.
“Nice graveyard,” I said. “Where did you get the flowers?”
“Remember the golden angel carrying the ugly pot next to the table in the hall?” Lucy asked with her mouth full. “We took those.”
I chuckled, gave Nudjia a kiss and took some grapes.
“Let’s pack our things and head for the coast,” Mark said when he was finished. “Whoever wants to come along gets in the bus, there’s enough space for everyone. But if you prefer to go the other way, you can of course. No hard feelings.”
Although they must have seen it coming, the Russian girls were a bit surprised by the sudden request. For them things were changing so quickly - they probably were still getting used to being free and to making their own decisions.
I didn’t understand a single word from what they were saying, but from the look on Nudjia’s face I could tell they would separate.
“Ve’ve decited to ko back to Russia,” the white skinned girl that had let us in earlier said. “Ve take the money ve fount in Boris’ pockets to buy tickets.”
“I’ll stay,” Nudjia said walking over to me. “My new home is vith Damon herre.”
I was in heaven when she said that. Of course I had expected her to stay with me, but now that I actually heard her say it, it had become real. And I’d make sure nothing would ever change that.
The girls embraced each other and said their goodbyes, their crying sounding like an entire birdcage in turmoil. I still had to get used to that – but hey, nobody is perfect.
After all the goodbyes were done, we got in the bus. Louis turned the ignition and off we drove. Everybody waved. After a while the dust had swallowed the girls we’d left behind. The only things still reminding me of the strange adventure were the boobs, growing smaller by the minute, and Nudjia of course.
We drove for hours with just a few short breaks for refreshments. The lonely landscape, the rocking engine and the rythm of the wheels hitting the highway plates reminded me of ZZ Top. Nudjia’s head was lying on my shoulder as I looked out of the window. The mountains were coming closer and from time to time a tree rushed by.
I dozed off. We didn’t get much sleep the night before. Nudjia woke me with a poke in the side and her lovely face. Her lips touching mine almost got me in the mood for more, but she had something else in mind. I put myself up in my seat. She pointed at some thin guy sitting by the side of the road. The bus had come to a halt. I hoped it wasn’t Lucy’s idea.
It was.
“Please open up, Louis!” Lucy said. “I’d like to give the poor fellow a dime.”
Louis just grinned as she got up from her seat. Mark had his eyes shut and didn’t move. Probably dreaming of other places.
Not again, I thought. What does she want from him? He won’t let her go once he’d laid eyes on her. Aren’t we already enough freaks on a wire, do we always have to add another one, time and again.
In the distance I could make out what looked like a small town. Some flat buildings with a church or something in the middle. Steven King would probably have liked the setting.
I threw the creep a better look. You know the type, sitting on a street corner and begging for a few cents? Add a stupid monkey and you’d know you’d be in for some trouble. They never get things straight, never heard of inflation either. Successful beggars nowadays ask for bucks not cents or dimes. Anyway, there you are scratching your balls thinking about giving the dumb fuck a few cents and then what does the stupid monkey do? He steals your wallet and screams so loud that in case you wouldn’t have noticed the missing weight of your cash, you’d definitely would now. Know the type?
Bingo – to quote Wild Cloud - one of these was sitting by the side of the road. Except for us and the town, nothing in sight. He must have been even more stupid than the others - if ever that is possible. Then again, anything is, in this great country of ours, right?
So, here’s this guy sitting by the road, all dusty and gray with a stupid cape on. You know, Superman’s kind, red, dust-red in this case. The monkey, too. Both had a big W embroidered on the front. Superman’s muscles would at least have shaped the ugly thing into a fashionable piece of acrylic. But if ever these two possessed muscles they didn’t show. Even mice were better endowed. The guy’s hair, or rather what was left of it, had the color of dried carrots. Come to think of it, everything about those two looked very dried - which was of no surprise considering the location.
Lucy got out of the bus to talk to the guy. Just as I wanted to turn my eyes skyward out of suppressed anger and impatience, I got blinded by a reflection which seemed to shoot out from under the monkey’s ass. I rubbed my eyes, thinking the heat had finally gotten to me. But as the stupid animal got up and jumped at Lucy, its little bones jiggling in midair because of the strain of the accompanying war-cry, I discovered that the reflection was caused by a vacuum cleaner the superheroes were sitting on. You know, the fifties kind of thing. Resembling one of those EC rockets, ready to lift off towards worlds no one had seen before. It had a red label saying ’World Champion’.
What the hell did they bring that for?
Meanwhile my sister had the stupid animal in her face. Superpops did his best to scream louder than the monkey. But since it didn’t have the intended effect, I jumped from the bus and kicked the creature in its pink behind making it fly back to where it came from. It made a touchdown amidst a huge cloud of dust, an inch or so from the rocket cleaner and stayed lying spreadeagled in the sand.
I gave Lucy a helping hand. She looked wild, with her dress all torn and dirty. The animal’s imprints made a nice pattern on the tissue, though. I felt sorry for her, the way she looked down on herself. As far as I knew this was her last dress.
Why on earth had she asked Louis to stop? We needed to get going.
“Hey freak,” I said to the Superhero, “You been in that town over there?”
The guy obviously hadn’t decided yet if he’d be angry because of how I’d treated his companion or if he should answer the question. After a while he decided to go for the latter.
“Yeah, and they immediately threw me out again.”
Must be reasonable folks, I thought.
“How come?” I asked. “You look quite decent to me,” I said, throwing a most doubtful glance in Lucy’s direction.
“The cops there accused my monkey of stealing some of the hairdressers’ pins. We had been sitting in front of his tiny shop and from time to time Willy, that’s his name, went in to take a look at the ladies. And you know what, they liked him. Even gave him sweets and all. Next thing I know, some cops come driving over. They threw me in their car and dumped me here, just across the state line, accusing Willy of stealing. If they’d ever see me again, they’d lock me up, they said.”
“Well,” Mark, leaning onto the bus, asked, “Did Willy steal them stupid pins?”
“Of course he did,” Superpops said, “But try to tell a monkey something about stealing! And they were just hairpins, nothing else.”
The monkey, back from the dead, tensed his little muscles and threw me a hateful glance. Suddenly it opened ist mouth so wide as if to swallow the entire bus and began shouting. Superpops was impressed. I wasn’t. After the monkey realized his warcry’s results were less than expected, he walked over to Mister Fancy Pants and hid behind his back.
By then I’d definitely had enough of those two.
“Well Lucy, what now?” I asked.
Quarter past one. Her nipples’ shadows shooting down her belly told me so. Better than any sundial. Had to keep those thoughts to myself, though.
“Did you give him some change?” I asked her. “I hope you’re not thinking of taking them along. This bus isn’t a friggin’ asylum. I mean, we walked away from Midville to see the world, L.A., whatever. We took along some friends and met some people on the way. I don’t think Louis would agree if we’d be turning his bus into a drive-by mental institution.”
Oops, I’d gone too far. It really got her angry.
She turned cherry red as she yelled: “Now you listen to me, brother! Tell me, who came up with the idea of leaving Midville? Who asked Louis to take us with him? Was that you? No!!! I just took you along because I felt oh so sorry for my little brother whom I would leave behind selling nothing but ice-cream and spaghetti for the rest of his sorry life. I couldn’t live with that. I never planned to ask this poor fellow here to step on the bus, I just wanted to give him a dime, that’s all. Just because I felt like it! Now don’t you start telling me what to do.”
Truth hurts… But she was right. She was the one who’d started it all. I’d never have dared to cut the rope. But I didn’t want to apologize in front of everyone. Even less because I also had the stupid freak staring at me - and the sun, whose reflection was smiling from the guy’s shiny head.
Man, why do we meet such people. Does this world just consist of moneymakers and misfits? As I watched our new friends whom I’d come to love so dearly, I couldn’t ignore a kind of despair growing deep inside. Would we ever find others able to cope with true friendship or would we forever get lost in the world of never ending freaks and egomaniacs?
Lucy read my thoughts. She knew me so well. No matter how much she hated me at that moment, she’d never want to expose me in front of the others.
She said: “I know how you feel, Damon. It’s o.k., we’ll manage, don’t worry.”
She walked over and put her arm around my shoulder. At the same time she pulled over Nudjia and embraced us both. Not that I had forgotten about her, but now that my sister had brought us together again, I felt sorry that I’d left her sitting in the bus. She must have felt lost.
“I’m sorry. You were right, sister,” I said.
“So off we go then,” Lucy said, and we all stepped back into the bus.
“Take care Pops,” she said. “We can’t take you along now.”
“That’s all right with me, girl. I don’t want to go back to Smalltown anyway,” he said.
We waved goodbye and he waved back. Maybe he wasn’t that bad a guy after all. A second later, Louis turned the ignition and with a loud BANG, we drove off.
I watched the Superhero running through the dust, yelling something about China but I couldn’t understand him.
“Good luck,” he lip-synced.
I felt good Lucy hadn’t offered him a ride. Sure, he didn’t want to come along either but things felt good the way we were, like a team that was complete. I looked back once more at Super-pops. He was gone - disappeared in the dust. Nudjia sat next to Tiko on the backseats. They talked and laughed a bit. A good sign.